So, I know I haven't posted much... or anything... of my life in Tokyo. However, I may have time in the not-so-distant future to update more and remedy that.
So, those in my group of family and friends know that I gave notice at my job in January. Not because it is a terrible place, for the most part working there has been great. The director is nice and they can be very accommodating. However, I have no interest in staying in Tokyo.
After moving to Tokyo, I developed eczema on my chin. It basically looks like I have a five o'clock shadow all the time that even make-up (unless quite generously applied and re-applied) won't cover. I have been taking pills twice a day since last August which have cleared up all but the eczema, and have recently started using steroid ointment on it. Since it started when I moved to Tokyo and starts to clear up every time I leave Tokyo, the answer is obvious. With other health issues adding on, I'm just ready to move on. (I guess I should consider myself lucky as a co-worker told me his girlfriend developed warts on her hands, and recently his entire nail just fell off, it could be worse.)
In other news, I will share my evil plotting for the future with you now!
While I gave notice in January, my company is currently expanding. They have been hiring so many new teachers for new schools and training and.... it's been a bit hectic. They weren't sure when they would have someone to replace me, so I (not having a set plan) offered to stay on a little longer on the terms that I wanted certain evenings off by 6pm to take Japanese classes. So, I will stay at my company until the end of June. However, as my replacement will come, my services aren't really needed all day, but I negotiated to continue a little longer as a part-time worker in place of the assistant they were planning to hire.
Part of my negotiation was to give me time to get my things in order, and part of it was just to give me some time to do what I came to Tokyo for: to study! I will moving out of my apartment at the end of March and into a Share House to save some money. I also plan on taking Japanese classes in the evenings to work on my speaking and prepare for the test. (JLPT in July!)
I have said before that saving money in Japan and having fun cannot be done together. Which may be why I have so little enjoyed my time here, but I did manage to save a little. So I am planning my last trip in Japan for Kyoto. I am planning my time in Kyoto for ( I know... it's a terrible idea, but) the summer. Summers in Kyoto, as you can only really understand if you've experienced it, are miserable to say the least.
My plan in Kyoto is a little more interesting, I think. Last year, I took a trip to a guesthouse with my friend. While there, I noticed a sign that said they offered a "cleaning exchange" to customers. I recently looked more into this matter and found out that, if you can guarantee to work for 2+ months, you can work (4 hours of cleaning a day) for free accommodation. If you are interested in coming to Japan long-term, this is something to look into. I have actually seen this offer at many hostels. However, I had no idea you could do it in a more upscale guesthouse.
So, my plan in Kyoto is to work to live, in a different sense. It gives me time to study through the worst weather, make new friends (potentially), meet old friends, explore, and relax.
I know it may be a bad idea or a waste of money, but when I think about it.... I've just wanted a break for so long, and this is a nice way to get one without just being idle in the countryside. I can be semi-idle in Kyoto!
So there it is... my tentative plan. Though the Tokyo part is a little more set. I am going to view my first choice share house tomorrow. *fingers crossed*
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Sayonara Sale Tokyo March 2015
I will be leaving Tokyo at the end of the March and it is time to sell!
Prices are all in Yen.
Some prices may be negotiable if a reasonable price is asked.
(**not available until ~3/29)
If you would like pictures or more information on the items, please e-mail me at erinmharr@ezweb.ne.jp
Prices are all in Yen.
- rice cooker 1.2L (6 servings) 2,000
- bathroom scale 250
Brown 3 shelf bookshelf 1,000green 3 shelf bookshelf 500- laundry pole 1,000
- hair straightener (Tescom--IONE) 500
- dark green duffel bag with wheels and adjustable handle 500
- kotatsu (large size) 100x70 7,000
vacuum ("stick type cyclone cleaner") 800**- balcony "curtain" (mekakushi) 250 for on or 400 for both
- wooden mats (sunoko) 3:87x55 and 1:87x37 all for 500
- curtains (light green) 135x145-ish set of 2 1,200
Some prices may be negotiable if a reasonable price is asked.
(**not available until ~3/29)
If you would like pictures or more information on the items, please e-mail me at erinmharr@ezweb.ne.jp
Dating in Japan vs. South Korea
I was just reading a blog about IR (interracial dating). This led me to start thinking again on a subject that has been bothering me for... over a year. The differences I've found in the dating culture between Japan and Korea.
Mind you, this is coming from a white woman who likes Asian men. So it may differ for others, but from what I've observed, I doubt it differs that much.
Coming from the American "melting pot", I've grown up in a country where black, white, Hispanic, Asian, you-name-it faces are the norm. In the USA I know there is still trouble with racism, but overall this is not the case. If you are American, for the most part, you are American. Maybe it's just because I've always been very open-minded that I didn't differentiate between peoples backgrounds...
Anyways, I've been living in Asia for several years, I spent a couple in Korea and a couple in Japan. Recently, I noticed a trend in dating.
I used to be a "big girl", I've lost over 30kg in the last 4-5 years. However, In Korea the men didn't care so much. Not that they didn't care at all. Some men after checking me out had no interest in talking/meeting again. In Korea, where they are very vocal about liking women to weigh 110lbs (while most men have no idea what this means except skin and bone), they are much more open to dating women with more curves as long as they are foreign.
What I mean is, when you see a Korean man and a Korean woman together, regardless of how fat, ugly, disfigured, or potentially handsome the man is, the women are usually very slim and often petite. Korean women are supposed to be slim and pretty, and while most Korean men claim that they would never date/marry a woman who's had plastic surgery the truth is that most Korean men won't date a Korean woman who hasn't had surgery.
Meanwhile, you will see Korean men with foreign women and often see the opposite. When it comes to size, Korean men are much more accepting of bigger foreign girls. Now, that isn't to say that they love big girls, just that they accept them much easier than they would a big Korean girl. Of course, they aren't happy about it. You can often times expect to hear things like "You would be prettier if you lost weight" or "If you weighed 52kg, I would be in love with you (true line from a guy friend of mine, who apparently was seriously asking me out...)". These things may make you ask "Are they really more accepting", but honestly, yes. The fact that they will date you, even wanting to introduce you to their parents is a BIG deal. (P.S. I still don't weigh 52kg, just 30+kg less than before.
---
Living in Japan has taught me the exact opposite. Mind you, I am MUCH thinner/healthier than when I went to Korea, but dating here is nearly impossible. I thought it was just because I wasn't trying as hard but that wasn't it. So, as I always do when I feel out of place, I started to people watch more. After moving to Tokyo, I used to frequent Shinjuku and even hang out in areas of Shibuya that are good for observation.
I eventually realized that I never saw a big foreign girl with a Japanese man. I have seen other "big" (over size 6--US) girls here. However, all the these women that I saw with a male partner were with men who were white, black, Philipino, etc.: not Japanese. Even here in Tokyo, I have seen slim-to-no Asian men with women who are bigger than a size 6. In fact, a size six seems to be rare in itself. I must admit, I may have seen a girl or two who MIGHT be as "big" as a size 8 with a Japanese guy! However, they also looked like they should be models (not the anorexic ones we see today, but the healthy looking ones who were chosen more on looks than bones.)
It doesn't seem to matter if they are white, black, Asian, whatever. When it comes to Japanese guys dating Japanese girls, they are so much more accepting of curves and bigger girls, but foreigners? Hell no. I have even been asking my friends to see if it is just my imagination and many tried to deny it before thinking and saying "You're right, I've never seen one couple with a big or average foreign girl and a Japanese guy." or "I knew one guy who married a 'chubby' American girl... oh but, after they moved to Japan they divorced within a year."
I have found this both annoying and fascinating.... It's amazing the differences people are willing to accept from people of the same race/ethnicity/culture than from those of others.
However, I'm sure this isn't just a Korean/Japanese thing. Overall, in the USA there are so many types and people who prefer different things, though even from state to state you will likely see a difference. However, I find that in Korea it went both ways, some were okay with average or above average girls and some weren't, but here in Japan I have not seen this kind of thing. Even in the rare event that they date a girl who is bigger than a size 8, marriage?! What are you thinking? Obviously, I've dated a couple guys here, but one was openly interested in moving to the USA and the other was a playboy, so...
Of course, it's obvious to say, you haven't met the right kind of men, and I perfectly agree. However, neither have 99% of the other average and above average women I've seen here. So I'm thinking it's not just me.
Mind you, this is coming from a white woman who likes Asian men. So it may differ for others, but from what I've observed, I doubt it differs that much.
Coming from the American "melting pot", I've grown up in a country where black, white, Hispanic, Asian, you-name-it faces are the norm. In the USA I know there is still trouble with racism, but overall this is not the case. If you are American, for the most part, you are American. Maybe it's just because I've always been very open-minded that I didn't differentiate between peoples backgrounds...
Anyways, I've been living in Asia for several years, I spent a couple in Korea and a couple in Japan. Recently, I noticed a trend in dating.
I used to be a "big girl", I've lost over 30kg in the last 4-5 years. However, In Korea the men didn't care so much. Not that they didn't care at all. Some men after checking me out had no interest in talking/meeting again. In Korea, where they are very vocal about liking women to weigh 110lbs (while most men have no idea what this means except skin and bone), they are much more open to dating women with more curves as long as they are foreign.
What I mean is, when you see a Korean man and a Korean woman together, regardless of how fat, ugly, disfigured, or potentially handsome the man is, the women are usually very slim and often petite. Korean women are supposed to be slim and pretty, and while most Korean men claim that they would never date/marry a woman who's had plastic surgery the truth is that most Korean men won't date a Korean woman who hasn't had surgery.
Meanwhile, you will see Korean men with foreign women and often see the opposite. When it comes to size, Korean men are much more accepting of bigger foreign girls. Now, that isn't to say that they love big girls, just that they accept them much easier than they would a big Korean girl. Of course, they aren't happy about it. You can often times expect to hear things like "You would be prettier if you lost weight" or "If you weighed 52kg, I would be in love with you (true line from a guy friend of mine, who apparently was seriously asking me out...)". These things may make you ask "Are they really more accepting", but honestly, yes. The fact that they will date you, even wanting to introduce you to their parents is a BIG deal. (P.S. I still don't weigh 52kg, just 30+kg less than before.
---
Living in Japan has taught me the exact opposite. Mind you, I am MUCH thinner/healthier than when I went to Korea, but dating here is nearly impossible. I thought it was just because I wasn't trying as hard but that wasn't it. So, as I always do when I feel out of place, I started to people watch more. After moving to Tokyo, I used to frequent Shinjuku and even hang out in areas of Shibuya that are good for observation.
I eventually realized that I never saw a big foreign girl with a Japanese man. I have seen other "big" (over size 6--US) girls here. However, all the these women that I saw with a male partner were with men who were white, black, Philipino, etc.: not Japanese. Even here in Tokyo, I have seen slim-to-no Asian men with women who are bigger than a size 6. In fact, a size six seems to be rare in itself. I must admit, I may have seen a girl or two who MIGHT be as "big" as a size 8 with a Japanese guy! However, they also looked like they should be models (not the anorexic ones we see today, but the healthy looking ones who were chosen more on looks than bones.)
It doesn't seem to matter if they are white, black, Asian, whatever. When it comes to Japanese guys dating Japanese girls, they are so much more accepting of curves and bigger girls, but foreigners? Hell no. I have even been asking my friends to see if it is just my imagination and many tried to deny it before thinking and saying "You're right, I've never seen one couple with a big or average foreign girl and a Japanese guy." or "I knew one guy who married a 'chubby' American girl... oh but, after they moved to Japan they divorced within a year."
I have found this both annoying and fascinating.... It's amazing the differences people are willing to accept from people of the same race/ethnicity/culture than from those of others.
However, I'm sure this isn't just a Korean/Japanese thing. Overall, in the USA there are so many types and people who prefer different things, though even from state to state you will likely see a difference. However, I find that in Korea it went both ways, some were okay with average or above average girls and some weren't, but here in Japan I have not seen this kind of thing. Even in the rare event that they date a girl who is bigger than a size 8, marriage?! What are you thinking? Obviously, I've dated a couple guys here, but one was openly interested in moving to the USA and the other was a playboy, so...
Of course, it's obvious to say, you haven't met the right kind of men, and I perfectly agree. However, neither have 99% of the other average and above average women I've seen here. So I'm thinking it's not just me.
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