Japanese women = 12 year old girls

So, as proof that this was a terrible mistake and that I need to find another place ASAP..... unmarried, middle-aged, Japanese women, who can't afford real housing and live in share houses in order to catch a foreign man, are like middle school girls. They have no lives and apparently think that bullying, being loud and obnoxious, and vandalizing other people's things is acceptable.

What am I talking about suddenly? Well...

I work as a teacher at an international kindergarten in Tokyo. Kindergarten means, I need sleep. I usually sleep around nine, but since this is a share house, or "social residence", I understand there may be some noise. So, I told the girls who were sitting in the lounge directly outside my room that I was planning to sleep and to please keep it down. The two who were there dimmed the light and started talking quieter. However, when more girls came in, the noise level went up.

When I again went over to the open "window" between me and them and asked them to be quiet, they went silent for a moment. Then they went into apparent shock!

These women in their late 20's and 30's couldn't believe that I would have the nerve to ask them to be quiet while they were in the common space. How could I have the audacity to think that respecting the other residents and at least trying to be quiet should be acceptable to full-grown women?! *shock*

So they proceeded to have long, drawn out conversations about how ludicrous it was to think they should be quiet. They went on in very loud whispers about this for a good ten to fifteen minutes, obviously expecting me to react... and being tired and annoyed, I did. I asked them to be quiet again (or maybe I told them, after all I don't use Japanese much these days.) Their response was to tell me that it was wrong of me to think that my wish for quiet should outweigh their group desire to be obnoxious and loud. When I mentioned that it was ten o'clock and a good time to quiet down, they retorted with, "not for another ten minutes, and the house rules say we don't need to be quiet until eleven." Of course, I knew I should hold in any response to this, but I couldn't help but comment after hearing them continue on about how ridiculous they thought it was that anyone should live in a share house and not expect it to be obnoxiously loud, I couldn't help but mention that I didn't get the memo that children were living here. After all, adults should understand that someone would want to sleep before work.
*Note: Some of these women don't even live in this area of the house, but upstairs where there is actually another lounge area set up that isn't open to anyone's room.

Mind you, if this was the worst, I probably wouldn't post this until much later if at all.

I share a room, or at least a door with a lock, with a French girl. This is important because, for the next hour after I had asked them again to quiet down, they talked on a few other subjects (still loudly and without care) but kept coming back to how surprised they were that anyone should want quiet, or to sleep, or to think they should be quiet. They also talked several times in slightly more quiet whispers about sneaking into my room and stealing the blankets, messing with my things, and other inappropriate (an illegal) things. Mind you, this was all highly amusing until it went on for an hour and made me realize.... these women have NO lives! Which means that it is likely they will remember and try something.

I decided to go to the toilet and made a point of locking my door to see what they'd do/say. When I walked out and returned they turned completely silent (so it is possible). Then I looked the door when I came back in. Maybe I shouldn't have made it so obvious that I understand their idiotic rambling. I soon heard one of them ask "how can we do it though?"

As if on cue, my room share buddy came back from the shower and stopped when she reached the locked (previously unlocked door). They mentioned that I had locked it and then casually changed the conversation to asking if she uses Facebook. She happily said yes and gained some new Facebook friends. I feel like I'm in middle school again. Only I can't just beat people up and get away with it anymore. Damn.

Anyways, I asked the French girl to lock the door when she went out to shower or something. She said it would be troublesome for her and said no one would mess with anything so why bother. When I mentioned that, judging by their conversation for the last hour, I wasn't quite sure about that, she again said it was troublesome. So I restated my request and my insecurity and left it at that.

We shall see. Luckily, except when I shower in the morning and they sleep, I keep most my valuables on my person.

Basically, I just thought this would make an interesting post. If I wasn't involved, I would probably find the story more amusing.

Dating in Japan vs. South Korea

I was just reading a blog about IR (interracial dating). This led me to start thinking again on a subject that has been bothering me for... over a year. The differences I've found in the dating culture between Japan and Korea.

Mind you, this is coming from a white woman who likes Asian men. So it may differ for others, but from what I've observed, I doubt it differs that much.

Coming from the American "melting pot", I've grown up in a country where black, white, Hispanic, Asian, you-name-it faces are the norm. In the USA I know there is still trouble with racism, but overall this is not the case. If you are American, for the most part, you are American. Maybe it's just because I've always been very open-minded that I didn't differentiate between peoples backgrounds...

Anyways, I've been living in Asia for several years, I spent a couple in Korea and a couple in Japan. Recently, I noticed a trend in dating.

I used to be a "big girl", I've lost over 30kg in the last 4-5 years. However, In Korea the men didn't care so much. Not that they didn't care at all. Some men after checking me out had no interest in talking/meeting again. In Korea, where they are very vocal about liking women to weigh 110lbs (while most men have no idea what this means except skin and bone), they are much more open to dating women with more curves as long as they are foreign.

What I mean is, when you see a Korean man and a Korean woman together, regardless of how fat, ugly, disfigured, or potentially handsome the man is, the women are usually very slim and often petite. Korean women are supposed to be slim and pretty, and while most Korean men claim that they would never date/marry a woman who's had plastic surgery the truth is that most Korean men won't date a Korean woman who hasn't had surgery.

Meanwhile, you will see Korean men with foreign women and often see the opposite. When it comes to size, Korean men are much more accepting of bigger foreign girls. Now, that isn't to say that they love big girls, just that they accept them much easier than they would a big Korean girl. Of course, they aren't happy about it. You can often times expect to hear things like "You would be prettier if you lost weight" or "If you weighed 52kg, I would be in love with you (true line from a guy friend of mine, who apparently was seriously asking me out...)". These things may make you ask "Are they really more accepting", but honestly, yes. The fact that they will date you, even wanting to introduce you to their parents is a BIG deal. (P.S. I still don't weigh 52kg, just 30+kg less than before.
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Living in Japan has taught me the exact opposite. Mind you, I am MUCH thinner/healthier than when I went to Korea, but dating here is nearly impossible. I thought it was just because I wasn't trying as hard but that wasn't it. So, as I always do when I feel out of place, I started to people watch more. After moving to Tokyo, I used to frequent Shinjuku and even hang out in areas of Shibuya that are good for observation.

I eventually realized that I never saw a big foreign girl with a Japanese man. I have seen other "big" (over size 6--US) girls here. However, all the these women that I saw with a male partner were with men who were white, black, Philipino, etc.: not Japanese. Even here in Tokyo, I have seen slim-to-no Asian men with women who are bigger than a size 6. In fact, a size six seems to be rare in itself. I must admit, I may have seen a girl or two who MIGHT be as "big" as a size 8 with a Japanese guy! However, they also looked like they should be models (not the anorexic ones we see today, but the healthy looking ones who were chosen more on looks than bones.)

It doesn't seem to matter if they are white, black, Asian, whatever. When it comes to Japanese guys dating Japanese girls, they are so much more accepting of curves and bigger girls, but foreigners? Hell no. I have even been asking my friends to see if it is just my imagination and many tried to deny it before thinking and saying "You're right, I've never seen one couple with a big or average foreign girl and a Japanese guy." or "I knew one guy who married a 'chubby' American girl... oh but, after they moved to Japan they divorced within a year."

I have found this both annoying and fascinating.... It's amazing the differences people are willing to accept from people of the same race/ethnicity/culture than from those of others.

However, I'm sure this isn't just a Korean/Japanese thing. Overall, in the USA there are so many types and people who prefer different things, though even from state to state you will likely see a difference. However, I find that in Korea it went both ways, some were okay with average or above average girls and some weren't, but here in Japan I have not seen this kind of thing. Even in the rare event that they date a girl who is bigger than a size 8, marriage?! What are you thinking? Obviously, I've dated a couple guys here, but one was openly interested in moving to the USA and the other was a playboy, so...

Of course, it's obvious to say, you haven't met the right kind of men, and I perfectly agree. However, neither have 99% of the other average and above average women I've seen here. So I'm thinking it's not just me.

Shopping for "Larger" Sizes

With experience living in Korea as a size 10-14 (US), I know it can be hard to find clothes that fit. Though their are some foreign stores like H&M that have bigger sizes, a lot of their clothes are still geared toward Koreans in Korean sizes.

If you want to find some good clothes that fit, and don't break the bank, try station shopping. Station shopping is shopping in train stations that often have shops of some sort. While many stops just have a convenience store, and/or make-up shop, there are several that are larger and include several underground shops. Some great stations to check out are Gangnam Stn., Samseong Stn., and Jamsil Stn. are all rather decent places. Yeongdeundpo Stn. is actually the biggest and best underground shopping that I've found in Seoul, and I often went shopping there.
For above ground shopping Dondaemun is not only the most famous, but a place full of options. From $5 shops to $500 dollar departments. If you have a little extra time and money, make it an all day shopping trip here.
If you happen to be in Bundang (just outside Seoul) visit the 2100 Outlet next to Migeum Stn. There are also several shops along the street that are cheaper and have a range of clothes.
If you live closer to Incheon, try Bupyeong Stn. Whether it's above or underground there are shops everywhere with plenty of options in price and type.

Have fun and don't buy anything you don't like. You can always find something better later.

Also, don't worry about taking make-up to Korea. South Korea is the home to the original BB Cream. It's very light and much healthier for your skin than American/French make-ups.

If you need a good moisturizer, check out The Saem. They have a line called See&Saw which uses echinacea and I've used all products in the line: they work ;)